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The worst student bloopers from Nijmegen

15 Aug 2016

As a first-year student, you are almost certain to make a blunder that you will later be embarrassed to remember. Vox collected some bloopers that will no doubt make the ones you will be committing look pale by comparison.

Gijs, student of Political Science, fell flat on his face during a lecture
“My biggest trauma at the university involved an incident in the Spinoza Building, during a lecture on microeconomics. I wanted to go back to my seat after the break but the seats left and right of mine were already occupied. It’s always such a fuss when people have to get up to let you pass, so I thought I’d be clever and climb back to my seat over my desk. A great idea in theory, but in practice my foot got caught on a desk, and I fell flat on my face. It sounds funny now, but when I walked out of the lecture hall with blood pouring down my face on my way to the doctor, it gave people quite a fright. Weeks later, complete strangers would still come up to me at the pub and ask about it. To this day, people make fun of me because of it…”

Koen, student of Computing Science, misbehaved on a night out drinking at the University
“As a first-year student, I was invited by my study association to a cocktail night in the Huygens Building. It was great fun and we were all drinking cocktails. At some point, we got talking about the Foucault pendulum at the entrance to the building: we thought it looked like a Christmas tree topper. Those toppers are always hollow on the inside, and I assumed this was also true of the pendulum. I thought it might be fun to head the ball back when it came my way. I soon found out that that pendulum weighs 110 kilos – it hurt so badly! And worse of all, someone from the faculty student council witnessed the incident and actually threw me out. Turns out you are not allowed to even touch that thing; it costs € 400 to reset it. At the next get-together, I was persona non grata.”

Martin, student of History, unintentionally offended his internship supervisor
“My internship at a governmental institution was not going very well. I was supposed to write my thesis there, but I kept getting stuck. After a while I met with my internship supervisor to discuss what to do next. She had all kinds of tips that I didn’t find particularly helpful. At some point, I asked her, without meaning to be offensive: ‘Do you actually have an academic degree?’ Which she did, of course, she had an important management position after all. I could see that she was offended but she remained professional. I mumbled that I thought she had done some other kind of training, even though I had no idea what. That internship didn’t work out in the end. I quit before it was over and had to rewrite my thesis pretty much from scratch.”

Linda, student of Dutch Language and Culture, failed to recognise the Rector
“It was at the end of the academic year, during the Radboud Sports event — where students and staff members join forces to represent their faculty in sports such as cycling, cross-country and (of course, since we are a university) chess. It’s not so much about winning as about solidarity. So there I was, out of breath on the edge of the football pitch, talking to the well-dressed man standing next to me. I was surprised at his appearance: everyone else was wearing sports shoes and colourful faculty shirts, and there he stood in his impeccable tailored suit. After telling him about my team’s performance, I asked: ‘So what do you do? Do you work for the University?’ He looked at me with a slightly irritated expression. ‘Yes, I guess you can say that I work for the University.’ It was only months later, when I saw his photograph in Vox, that the quarter finally dropped. He was Bas Kortmann, at the time the Rector Magnificus of Radboud University.”

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